Overcoming Shame
Shame is not the same as guilt. When we feel guilt, it's about something we did. When we feel shame, it's about who we are. Shame = "I am not good enough." When we feel guilty we need to learn that it's okay to make mistakes. When we feel shame we need to learn it's okay to be WHO WE ARE!Shame comes from being taught that we are worthless or bad. It can stem from childhood experiences and comments from parents/adults or cruel kids. It comes from being threatened with shaming, or physical discipline, or humiliation.
It's sad how we remember a million negative things people have said or done to us and forget about all the wonderful compliments we have recieved from genuine human beings! I know I personally remember horrible things people have said to me!
Here are some tips to help with shame:
When people treat you well- Absorb it! Always take at least a few seconds to FEEL the good feelings you get when you are treated well. Let your appreciation show! Smile and learn to say "thank you." Showing your appreciation reinforces the other person and encourages them to stay around you longer. Don't talk yourself out of it; most compliments are honest.
When people treat you bad- don't dwell on it!! Maybe they just had a bad day and you happened to be the one they took it out on. Be sure to tell the other person that what they said or did hurt you and why. Sometimes people don't even realize how they are affecting others.
You are WORTHY of love and belonging!! BELIEVE you are enough!! We may not be perfect, but we ARE WORTH IT! :)
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