Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Real Talk With Jackie About Leaving a Legacy



Copyright, 2017, Jackie Mart. For further information about this blog, or Optimum Wellness LLC, contact Jackie Mart at 712.790.5883 or Jackie@OptimumWellnessMN.com. As a holistic nutritionist and lifestyle coach, I will support you in taking steps to a healthier and happier you. My goal is to help you create an art of balance in your life. You will also learn how important balance between primary foods (relationships, physical activity, sleep, career and spirituality) and secondary foods (organic food and whole food) is.
death giver inspiration
Share:

Timeline of your LIFE!

I had coffee the other day with a dear sweet friend of mine. She started talking about rewriting the "story of your life" instead of dwelling on the things you cannot change. When we are younger and graduate from high school and head off to college we typically have this set idea in our heads of how we think and want our life to look like for the next 50 or 60 years... The fact of the matter is that it rarely unravels the way we have planned. The plan usually is to graduate from college, get a job, get married, and start a family... We make all of these plans and goals in life and when things don't go the way we would like we get down and distraught. Alot of times we focus on what "didn't go right" and the bumps in the road take over our lives.




I recently changed my facebook profile page into my "Timeline." I thought alot about the meaning of Jackie Ann Mart's Timeline... What do I want my timeline to look like? I sure hope it's long!! What events do I want to appear within those years? I have alot of goals for my life and it is up to me to make sure they are prominent points on my timeline.

The image of a headstone at a cemetery also popped into my mind. The years on a headstone include your birth year and year of death with a "dash" in between. That "dash" is the timeline of your life!!



What do you want your dash to look like? Do you live each day as if you are going to die tomorrow? Do you tell your loved ones how much they mean to you daily? Maybe it's time you worked on writing the story of your life? Is it going to be a comedy? Tragedy? Romantic novel? Short story? I hope you make your "dash" as vibrant and meaningful as you can!! I know what I need to work on in 2012!! LIVING!!! :-D


Copyright, 2012, Jackie Mart. For further information about this blog, or Optimum Wellness MN, contact Jackie Mart at 712.790.5883 or jackieamart@hotmail.com.

As a holistic nutrition and lifestyle coach, I will support you in taking steps to a healthier and happier you. My goal is to help you create an art of balance in your life. You will also learn how important balance between primary foods (relationships, physical activity, sleep, career and spirituality) and secondary foods (organic food and whole food) is. www.optimumwellnessmn.com

birth change death
Share:

Grief and Loss

Death seems to be looming around alot lately. A bunch of my coworkers and friends have lost a loved one the past few weeks. When I was home in Iowa for Easter I visited my grandma and grandpa's graves and Opal, my 99-year-old "adopted grandma," in the nursing home. It made me think alot about life and the losses we as human beings encounter.

I have been reading a book about loss and am realizing I have always been told not to feel the way I feel. I got yelled at for slamming my bedroom door when I was angry. Put down for being loud when I was excited, or was told to "get over it" when I was sad and lonely, or, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!!" We are not allowed very many days off after a death to grieve and are expected to "move on" as quick as possible with our lives. We live in a "fix-it" society, where people think the way to help is to make us feel feelings other than the ones we are actually experiencing. Mistakenly, many people will attempt to offer positive or even cheery words during times of suffering. What you need instead are friends who can stand alongside you, with patience, while your feelings of sorrow run their course. Feeling cannot be "fixed," as if they were a torn patchwork quilt in need of a needle and thread. Like a musty blanket, feelings require sunlight day after day, until the fresh air has finally cleared the dampness away.

In reality, we need to take time to allow the grief to settle in, and FEEL the feelings we have!!! So many times me stuff, hide, and bury our emotions inside instead of taking the time to deal with them when they occur! I know I have a hard time dealing with my feelings and emotions as an adult because of what I was taught as a child. I tend to keep insanely busy in order to avoid my feelings. Losses can include: death of a loved one, losing a job, house, money, divorce, pets, and etc.

I am still grieving and feeling the effects of my divorce which was the death of an 8 year relationship. It is normal to go through these stages with any type of loss:

Five Stages Of Grief

1. Denial and Isolation
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.

2. Anger
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.

3.Bargaining
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"

4.Depression
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.

5.Acceptance
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

Physical expressions can also accompany an experience of loss such as: anxiety, aches and pains, changes in appetite and sleep patterns.
anger anxiety death
Share:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)